hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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