Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
