dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
