That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
