Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
