Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
