Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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