It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
