8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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