my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
