the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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