if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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