She's JV to your varsity
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
