They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
