"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
