she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
