Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
