Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
