I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
