She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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