at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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