he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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