I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His hands were made for my vagina.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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