I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
