that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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