So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
