I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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