she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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