just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
