If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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