I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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