we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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