It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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