it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
