Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
