i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
