I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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