I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We just shotgunned beers for America
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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