I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
