Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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