with your own penis?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
