Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize