and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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