I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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