i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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