Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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