i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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