Don't you send me to vm
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
