Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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