would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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