I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
